I’m told that it’s a good idea to shave once a year or so if I want my facial hair to get thicker. However, there’s a reason I wear a beard: I hate my face.
I’m not “scare young children” ugly or anything. I just have this round, baby face that doesn’t exactly instill lust in the ladies, if you catch my drift. Drives me nuts.
The only time I shave is when I suffer from a razor related accident. The last time it was because I dropped my beard trimmer in the middle of the night, accidently resetting the length from six to one without knowing it. This time, it’s because I bought a new trimmer and didn’t read the directions.
You read that right: I’m facially hairless AND stupid.
My old trimmer had settings from one to six. One would leave stubble while six would give a rather handsome trim to an otherwise unruly tangle. Unfortu8nately, the blades on that razor dulled and I was unable to find a replacement. Since trimmers have come down in price significantly, I just decided to buy a new one.
The new one has a whopping nine settings! I always felt that even the number six setting on the old one was rather short, and was glad to see they added three extra lengths. And here’s where reading the directions may have come in handy — it’s not three extra settings, it’s the same range divided into nine segments.
So, long story short, I wanted a closer trim that normal and set it to three. That left me looking like a guy who hasn’t shaved in a week rather than a guy with a neatly trimmed goatee. Couple that with my need for a haircut and the fact that I’m unemployed, and that scruffy beard made me look more pitiful than anything else. So, taking the advice of several beard wielders and the suggestion of my girlfriend, I just shaved the whole thing off.
Dani cracks up every time she looks at me. She’s never seen me smooth-faced. I do a double take every time I pass a mirror.
What shocks me most is just how haggard I look. The last time I did this, I looked just like I did in High School, just a tad more mature. This time I look like hell. I’ve gained considerable weight and look pretty awful in comparison. Not a good thing.
Thus begins the new diet. When I left Intuit, I was in decently healthy shape. I rode my bike the seven miles to and from work (14 miles total for those counting) two or three times a week. I did a LOT of hiking, eight to 14 miles every weekend, and some rock climbing. I was in good physical shape. I even used the Intuit gym on a regular basis.
Then I went to work for MightyWords. When I still lived in Menlo Park, I could at least ride my bike the three or so miles to and from the Lawrence CalTrain station near work and then the half mile to and from the Menlo Park station (a grand total of about seven miles a day). And, at night, I still rode arou8nd my neighborhood. Since moving to Hayward, however, the only ways to get to work were via the Amtrak, which I had to catch at a rather inconvenient time as it only ran a couple of times a day, or by driving. The area where I live in Hayward is mostly commercial and not very safe for biking. The area around MightyWords in Santa Clara was pretty sterile and commercial as well. So, essentially, there was no convenient way for me to work out.
During our big project to build our Digital Rights Management piece, I got very little sleep and did little else than work. The late nights, junk food and Denny’s runs had me gaining about 20 to 30 pounds in a short span of time. I never had a chance to lose that weight and, with all that’s been going on lately, it’s gotten worse.
With a goatee it’s kind of hard to see where I’ve gained the weight. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that I’m more rotund than before, and my stamina is all but gone, but the face is the most striking place to see the weight gain. Now that I’ve shaved the thing off, though, I see it plain and clear. It’s not pretty.
So, I need to make some changes. It’s time to work exercise back into my daily routine. It’s just a matter of getting off my lazy butt and doing it. I find that to be the hardest part. It’s like Newton’s second law of weight loss: an object at rest likes to stay at rest. Once I get my butt in gear I tend to keep it going. But getting my butt in gear is tough.
Thank God for runner’s high. When you get as out of shape as I am, you get runner’s high after about 30 feet. And that can be an addicting feeling.
So, it’s now time for me to get my ass in gear and do some self-improvement. I have the time and I have the motivation. I just need to to actually do it.
What’s the point of a Blog if you’re not airing your dirty laundry to the world, eh?