I just realized that this is the first time since I wrote the first “State of the Rob” that I didn’t have to look at the previous year’s entry to figure out what to say. So I started going back through them. One thing I noticed - they sure aren;t as long as this one was. Again, says something about the year.

So here they are, with my thoughts:

State of the Rob 2003 (I turned 28)
Big stepping stone in my life. I proposed to Dani and married her later that year. Still stands as one of the best moves I’ve made in my life.

State of the Rob 2004 (No link)
Strangely, no entry, though a vaguely promised one in a March 8th post. I know I quit the Academy of Art College within days of my birthday as I considered it a gift to myself, though it was really Rob Stankus who hired me at Robert Anthony who gave me the gift. I remember I felt free and stoked that the AAC experience was behind me, but I also remember having a hard time shaking it off, the same way an abused spouse feels it weird that someone can love them without beating them. Still, I wish I had kept up with my record and this promise. Let’s call this my flakey year and move on.

State of the Rob 2005
I turned 30. I clearly remember that overwhelming sense of “What have I done with my life?” It amplified when Mom died, hence my current state of affairs. Oddly enough, these days I drive a sensible car (well, my wife does - I’m still borrowing my father in law’s 1969 Chevy truck) and check in on my retirement portfolio a couple of times a week. Eerie. Portentious. As for starting my own business, it would take 18 months after I turned 30 to live up to the promises I had made to myself then, and they’re echoed again in the following year’s entry. It made me very proud to read that and not have to write about those plans again, instead addressing how they were going so far. This is why I do this every year (except my flakey year).

State of the Rob 2006
Still in the throes of Mom’s death, and apparently beginning to grow numb. Like I said, I really don’t remember too much from the early part of last year. It’s all fuzzed over by a generic blanket of grief and depression. Part of me wonders whether that isn’t for the best.

I’m really looking forward to writing next year’s entry.