You know, it’s still not too late to steal my greatest moneymaking idea ever. Photos and/or video, please.

REAGAN? RONALD FUCKING REAGAN? Jefferson – the guy who wrote the Declaration of Independance, the third president and the guy most “patriots” quote the most (Hello, Tree of Liberty) – didn’t even make it into the top five. RONALD FUCKING REAGAN?!?!?!

I haven’t yet decided whether this is a sad commentary on America’s lack of historical perspective at large, or just the viewership at the Discovery Channel. When Matt Lauer announced it this morning on the Today show, even he seem flabbergasted. Reagan. Jeez…

Shortly after moving in, we learned from our home insurance provider that, due to a couple of sizeable cracks in our driveway that could pose a “trip hazard”, we would be uninsurable unless we got said cracks repaired immediately. We looked into just getting some crack patch and going the cheap and easy route but, thanks to the generosity of my mother, it was determined that, for the long term, just replacing the whole thing would be worth the cost.

So Dani went and found a handful of contractors and we finally settled (and I mean settled) on a guy we both liked. Yesterday when we left our lovely new-ish home, it looked like this:

OK, kinda cracked, not too bad. When we got home last night, it looked like this:

We’re also doing the walkways, so the warm, inviting entrance to our front door looks like this:

Theoretically, it should all be done by Monday. In the meantime, my front yard looks like downtown Tikrit. Let’s hear it for homeownership!

Someday I’ll learn to keep my posts to just a couple of sentences. Don’t count on it happening soon, though.

Two huge things have happened in the legal arena as of late that set precedents to severely limit your freedom. Keep in mind that IANAL, so my interpretation of the details may be a bit off, but the spirit of what I have to say is absolute fact.

The Supreme Court of the United States – the folks who exist to ensure that the laws written by our legislature and enforced by our executive branch are actually legal – have just dramatically relaxed the restrictions on what can be seized through eminent domain. Eminent domain, by the way, is the government’s “right” to take property belonging to citizens and repurpose it to serve the public good. It’s usually invoked when a new freeway, railroad line or some other transportation/utility project needs some land that is otherwise occupied in order to be completed. Now, practically any argument deemed “for the public good” (in the case of the linked article, the building of an office park that may aid the economy of an area in Connecticut) can be used to kick people out of their homes, pay them less than market rates and send them on their way.

This is possible because in the United States, you never truly own any land. The government technically controls and, therefore, owns all of the land within our borders. You only get a right to use that land, a “title”. “Real Estate” is derived from the Spanish for “The king’s land”, which, of course, harkens back to the feudal period. As a new home owner, I find this new expansion of eminent domain laws to be atrocious. One of my biggest fears is that they will either decide to widen the major road that runs along one side of my house, thus cutting off a big chunk of my land, or some developer will convince the city that Concord would better benefit from having four condos on my land rather than one house. That latter one was a bit irrational, until today.

The second major limit to our freedom to happen in recent days is the signing of a new law requiring secondary producers of adult material to acquire and maintain all documents proving that their models are of the legal age, retroactive to 1995. If you have nothing to do with the adult industry other than enjoy it, you’ve probably never heard of 18 USC 2257 (and, if you are in the industry and haven’t heard of it, you’re naive and may get tossed in jail for your ignorance). This is a law that passed in the early 1990s following the revelation that adult star Traci Lords was 15 at the height of her popularity. It, in effect, requires all producers of adult materials to get legal proof of age, address and real name for all of the actors in their productions, maintain it for as long as their products are public, conspicuously post the address of the location of these documents on every product released and make them available to any federal agent who should request them during normal business hours. The original law made some mention of “secondary producers” – those who did not do the actual filming or photography, but who purchased it from someone who did – but it never really solidly defined their responsibilities.

This new amendment to that original law solidly defines the responsibilities of secondary producers – they are now exactly the same as primary producers. Back in the day when the original law was passed, following it was not that big of a deal. Most adult production companies were full-on businesses working out of office parks with a receptionist, full 9 to 5 staff, the works. The Internet has changed many of the rules of business, however, and many adult-oriented sites out there today are operated by individuals out of their homes who often purchase content from other people. The original 18 USC 2257 would, essentially, require many of these individuals to post their home address on a publicly accessible area on their site since, presumably, that’s where the documentation they were required to keep could be found. Of course, since secondary producers were not required to have this material, many of these sites got away without posting the address. But no more.

The spirit of 18 USC 2257 is to keep minors from being exploited in the adult industry, and I thoroughly agree that primary producers should positively get all of the documentation they can to support the fact that a model is of legal age. Even though I have not yet had the opportunity to use the content that I have taken, I still have all of the models’ information as well as the release agreements they signed. If I sell my content to someone now, however, I’ll be required to hand that information over to them as well.

Remember that actress who was killed in the 80s by the crazy stalker? Samantha something or other? He tracked down her home address by visiting the California DMV and looking up her information. So, let’s say some other crazy stalker want’s to go after, let’s say, Penthouse Playmate of the Year Martina Warren. I happen to have many unpublished photos of her that I took a while back that I recently mentioned I’d be willing to sell. So, let’s say crazy stalker guy sees this and we come to some agreement and I sell him the photos. I now also have to give him the copy of her driver’s license I have which contains not only her address but her real full name. So, even if she’s moved, he may still be able to track her down. And Lord knows what crazy stalker guy has in mind for her. Now, if I think this guy may not be legit, I’ll probably not sell the photos to him. I will, of course, do my due diligence and ask to see his website or publication or whatever and some proof that he runs it. I, however, tend to care about these things. Not everyone does.

So the original purpose of 18 USC 2257 was to keep minors out of the adult industry and, primary producers being the first and, usually, only people they have direct contact with, it made perfect sense to put the burden on them. A secondary producer should merely have to maintain the same publicly available 18 USC 2257 information that the primary producer did, namely a conspicuous mention of the address of the location where the primary producer’s complying documents can be found by federal agents for review. Requiring the secondary producer to maintain copies of those same documents is patently absurd and does absolutely nothing to protect minors. All it does is place a much larger burden on these people who, quite frankly, are helping the economy by providing jobs and spreading the money around.

There’s a lot of outrage in the adult community about this, and rightfully so. There is one bit of outrage I don’t agree with, however, and that’s the folks who have somehow obtained adult-themed images and are unable to obtain the comp[lying documents because they just don’t remember where they got them from. This, to me, is ridiculous. At the very least, a responsible secondary producer should have maintained the information about whom they got what content from. Considering the puritanical sensibilities of this nation, that should be a given, so I feel no pain for the scores of individuals decrying these regulations because they have no clue how to comply. If anything, this may just weed out the folks who should have never been in this industry to begin with, which would be a benefit to the community at large.

Still, it’s hard to ignore the passing of this legislation as anything other than an attempt to legally censor the adult internet. It also marks the beginning of what many adult webmasters have feared ever sense Bush came into office – the return of government pressure on adult businesses a la the Meese Commission. That this didn’t happen under the ultra-conservative and religious John Ashcroft’s reign as AG is probably only due to the maniacs who flew their planes into our buildings. The adult community got some time to breathe before Bush’s sights turned on them, but now it’s finally happened. There’s something distinctly dirty about the administration using the law to regulate the things it finds distasteful. If you’re a champion of free speech and/or adult content (and, judging by the amount of money flowing through the adult community, most of you are – just admit it, for Pete’s sake) this is something you should take a stand against. It’s not just about dirty pictures, it really is about our ability as Americans to do as we please without government intervention. I still find it ironic that it’s the Republicans – the ones who claim to want less government and more freedom – who invariably wind up using their political and legal power to squelch the things they dislike.

The moment something gets any amount of hype associated with it, my first inclination is to totally back away. Later, when enough people I trust and admire have spread the hype themselves, I’ll often be pursuaded to finally take a look and see what the hype was about to begin with. As a result, I’m always behind the curve.

Of course, if you read this blog on a regular basis, you probably are too.

So, go read Steve Jobs’ address to Stanford’s 2005 graduating class. It’s totally worth the hype and, in Jobs’ terms, is quite insanely great. It’s made even the more so when you realize he delivered it to thousands of individuals who had just spent 4-8 years and many thousands of dollars to, in his words, live someone else’s life. They always bring in big names for commencement speeches at major colleges. Why don’t they bring in someone to do the freshman welcome speeches?

FYI: it took Tom Peters to mention the speech for me to finally get off my ass and read it.

I can’t believe I just posted song lyrics to my blog. I hate when people do that. I feel so lame. And now you can add self-loathing to the blog trifecta, along with politics and lyrics.

See what happens when blogging is made easier for me? Damn you w.bloggar!

In light of my last post, and the fact that I just purchased a Who album off of iTunes, I think I have the must-have theme song for the Demos in ’08 – “Won’t Get Fooled Again”. Not just for CSI anymore.

And now, for those too old to remember or whose parents didn’t properly expose them to culture:

We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that’s all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain’t changed
‘Cause the banners, they’d all flown in the last war

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
No, no!

I’ll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

There’s nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-by
And the parting on the left
Is now a parting on the right
And their beards have all grown longer overnight

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

To be honest, the only reason I identify myself as a Democrat is because, in our country, we ultimately only have two parties, no matter how you cut it, and I’m not evil. While I applaud and support attempts to form third parties and the like (I worked for Ross Perot’s campaign when I was 17, before he dropped out the first time and took his dignity, momentum and my idealism down with him) I just don’t believe the current electoral system is set up to adequately support more than two parties.

So, having said that, I’m a Democrat. And being a Democrat these days is a lot like being the guy who walks into an elevator after someone has just passed gas and left, then, going up a floor, opens up and has everyone think its you. Bad analogy? Well, that’s how it feels.

I recently did a whole ToastMasters speech on what I feel is wrong with the Democratic party. I can sum it all up with one word: heart. The Republicans, for all their evil (and, if you’re a Bush supporter, the forked tongue should have been a dead giveaway) excel at aiming toward the American heart. They have the faith of God on their side, even while the president kills thousands after falsifying the reasons to go to war while also destroying God’s greatest works in nature. They have good ol’ down home living on their side, even as they pave the farmlands for more Walmarts and oil drilling and fake energy crises to steal from Grandma Millie. And they have moral righteousness, even as they continue to lie, steal, kill and cheat the very people supporting them. Despite the reality, they have the perception of being on the side of good. They speak in tones that connect with the average American. They have no problem calling their opponent idiots, liars, etc. And, most importantly, they obfuscate facts behind hand-waving comfort words (i.e. you will never hear a Republican talk about a solider being killed in Iraq. You will hear about a hero being gunned down amidst his fight for freedom, though).

The problem with the last election was that the Democrats were entirely too cerebral. The Republicans painted Kerry as a privileged ivy-leaguer from the north, and Kerry did a fine job of upholding that image. Let me ask you this – who do you think the average American is most likely going to vote for: a patrician gentleman who is clearly smarter and, therefore, better than you, or a guy who has made some of your same mistakes but has risen above it to stand before you and ask for your support? Bush and Kerry are cut from the exact same cloth. The only difference is, as far as we know, Kerry was never an alcoholic coke fiend who barely scraped by in college. And yet Kerry was painted as the son of privilege, even though Bush was a Yalie who would never have made his mark in the world had his father’s buddies not needed to curry favor from the elder Bush when he was the leader of the free world.

It’s ultimately all about marketing, and the Republicans kill at marketing. I feel there’s a sense amongst Democrats that such marketing tactics are somehow beneath them, that it cheapens the process and brings us down to their level if we choose to participate. That’s loser talk. Perception is everything, and perception is all about marketing. Having read many of the works of that fine scholar Seth Godin I’m convinced that, not only do the Democrats need a healthy dose of marketing savvy, they should hire Seth to be their answer to Karl Rove, only 90% less evil.

Right now Howard Dean is steering the Democrats toward 2008, and so far I’m impressed. He’s been pissing more than a few people off (Salon – requires you to view an ad. Sorry) with some of his speeches lately and, frankly, I like the way he’s just said what’s on his mind and made no apologies. I want to see an angry Democratic leader. I want to see him kick the asses of his fellow party members so that they understand that we can not lose again like we did last year. I REALLY want to see Joseph Biden get the nomination – he’s already declared three years in advance – for many of the same reasons. Everytime I see him speak on C-Span (or, OK, The Daily Show) I want to vote for him then and there. I can even get past the somewhat awkward “President Biden”.

Here it is, 2005, and I’m already getting election fever. I just can’t stand another four years of whatever crap the Republicans try to pass on the American people. For all of the infidelity and stuff that surrounded his tenure, Clinton was an undeniably good president. I was truly better off after his presidency than before it. This country has gone to shit since Bush took over – we’re at a seemingly unwinnable war while he get’s ready for the next conflagration, our people live in fear of their neighbors being terrorists and our economy, while improving, is stunted while all of this uncertainty continues to swirl about. We need a change, and we need it now.