Urf… A must-read article in the SFGate today about a woman who performed fellatio on a man and, without his knowledge or consent, saved his sperm for use inseminating herself. To top it off, she later tried to sue him for paternity. This is the quote that tossed me over the boat, though:

“She asserts that when plaintiff ‘delivered’ his sperm, it was a gift – an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,” the decision said. “There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.”

I now have a new term for oral sex – “transfer of title”. Thank you, SF Chronicle.

That’s it. Tomorrow my 20s pack their bags, throw the goat one last time and head on out to that great big road trip in the sky. In their stead come my 30s, wearing a cardigan and slippers and smoking a meerschaum. No more blaming things on impetuous youth. Gotta be an eh-dult now. Oy.

Folks who know me well have noticed that, when talking about my turning 30, there’s been a bit of dread in my voice. Folks who are in their mid-30s and above are slightly offended by this – “If you think you’re old…” But it’s not so much that I feel old – 30 is a perfectly fine age to be – it’s that I’m doing that whole “Where am I in my life” thing, and I see some key components missing.

There are some extremely wonderful blessings – I get the insanely great privilege of waking up to one of the most beautiful and wonderful women in the world AND I get to call her my wife. We’re currently right in the early stages of getting a house, which means we should have a place to call our own by mid-year. I’m no longer working for the Academy of Art College (I will never call that place a university – that’s an insult to those of us who actually went to one) which is truly wonderful as I came to the realization the other day that, if I were to enter my 30s still working at that hell hole, I’d probably be spending my birthday draining a vein. Instead, I work for a great outfit of hardworking, creative folks who really get the concept of respect in the workplace and are just fun to be around.

But there are a couple of things missing. For instance, I had hoped to be a father by now. That’s not that big a deal, though – my own father was just turning 30 when I was born, and I’ve since observed many men whom I greatly admire who had children past 30 and are terrific dads (my current boss being one shining example). I think the thing that’s really sticking out for me, though, is the horrendous lack of risk in my life.

I am, to put it mildly, risk-averse. This had affected me in numerous ways over the years, from keeping my single through my college years to taking forever for me to find a new job after my old dot com went bust. We all take little risks each day. Just getting behind the wheel of a car is a life-threatening risk, and most of us do it for at least an hour a day. But the bigger risks, specifically the ones that result in some sort of public exposure but nothing as serious as death, are the toughest for many of us. The possibility of public failure is a huge deterrent for many of us who’d rather just stick with the status quo, regardless of antsy it makes us.

Practically every aspect of my life is in good order, despite this aversion to risk. I’m very happily married, and I’m proud to say that I can say that without hesitation or feeling like I’m lying. We make good money. We’re not rich by any stretch, but we’re doing well enough to be buying a home, which is a gigantic step. I have a good job working for terrific people. Ah, but there’s the real problem – I’d rather be working for myself.

Lately, I’ve been hearing the words of my grade school teachers coming back to haunt me – “Not living up to his potential.” It’s been driving me nuts. During the dot com boom, everyone and their brother was coming up with business ideas and putting them to work. I had a few of my own, but had no idea where or how to start. When the bust came and left my without a job, a million ideas blossomed in my mind, but I was too afraid to act on any of them for fear that I’d never make any money. I felt my time was best spent looking for a new job. When I went to work for the AAC, I realized that working for someone else was just as risky and working for myself, if not more so. At the AAC, I always felt like I could lose my job at any minute because I didn’t toe the line drawn out by the power mongering Machiavelli who ran my department. When I left, I told myself it would only be a temporary job until I got my own idea off the ground.

This week will be a year since I’ve left the AAC. I’m in the throes of building my ideas into a viable company and hope to have it up and running at full speed by summer. But every day brings with it the challenge of conquering my own risk aversion. It’s an uphill battle for me, one that I’m currently fighting alone. I’m successful, but it puts into clear light the things I’ve missed for fear of shaking my sense of stability, which has never, ever been anything other an illusion. I’m actually proud of myself for taking these steps, and 100 percent confident of my success. By this time next year, I will be singing a different tune. Perhaps by them my 30s, driving their practical car and reading the business section to see how their retirement portfolio is doing, may not be as scary as they seem now.

Off of Fark: Reporter who is almost always called on by Bush during press conferences is scrutinized for possibly being White House ‘plant’.

Here’s my problem with this: It’s not so much that the Bushies are trying to manipulate the media – politicians have a long history of using these sorts of tactics to steer public opinion – it’s that I believe they may be trying to destroy any shreds of integrity left in the media.

It starts with “plants” in the presidential media pool. It’s not that big a deal if they’re linked back to the president since it’s not totally illegal. Of course, it’s easy to funnel the blame through independent conservative organizations, as they’ve already done in the linked article as well as in the past with other such media-related scandals (i.e. the “Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth”, etc.). But if the conservatives can do it, so can the liberals and, well, anyone with an agenda.

So this takes the media bias argument, which has been long blamed for sucking the news dry of any real filtering capability, and shines a fat spotlight on it, making it even *more* vital that reporters not look like plants. It gets to the point eventually where the media is now so afraid of appearing biased or planted or what have you that they stop really covering the real news. As it stands, rumor and conjecture is sat upon until cold hard facts present themselves. This has gotten worse after the CBS “Memogate” scandal which, despite what they may have told you, pushed poor old Dan Rather into retirement.

I’m not arguing that news agencies should jump on any rumor that hits the streets – I don’t want a return to yellow journalism. But editors and publishers need to stop worrying about an appearance of bias and just report the news. Hell, even if they were blatantly biased (hello, Salon) that shouldn’t stop them from reporting what they find as they find it.

Blogs, talk radio and pundits are as popular as they are specifically because they don’t let appearances of bias get in the way of getting their message out, and that really what people want – a filtered, easy to grasp and accept version of world events. Bias gives us an opinion. We can either totally agree with it (as I often do when I watch John Stewart and his commentaries on the news) or vehemently disagree with it (as I often do when I watch The O’Reilly Report or listen to talk radio). And, certainly, bias will just give lazy people their opinions for them, turning them into parrots rather than educated viewers. Then again, these typically aren’t the type of people poring over the morning edition of the New York Times every day.

While bias-free journalism is a worthy goal, I think too much stringency toward it is far more harmful than the threat of bias. So, rather than scribe breathless articles about conservatives planting reporters, paying conservative talkshow hosts to promote their programs (and if that was done with public funds, why isn’t that the scandal of the year?) and giving privileged access to those who agree with the Bush message, mainstream journalists should just do their jobs: report the real news, as it happens. And if your bias shows, screw it. It will only be pointed out by a media outlet with an opposing bias anyway. Let them get lost in the noise it causes.